The biological pressure to infidelity should not be underestimated in either men or women; There exist various causes:
Men need to spread their genetic makeup as widely as possible while females take great care to make sure that the few occasions on which they can successfully carry a pregnancy to term is provided with optimal genetic material (including that of their neighbor if necessary – as has been demonstrated by DNA checks on apparently strictly monogamous bird species). The horned males are often extremely jealous and thus pay little attention to the foreign brood. Tigers and mice are not afraid to eat young bastards.
The importance of the sense of smell
According to research conducted at the University of Bern/Switzerland, the “optimal” choice has a surprisingly clear relationship to the most diverse immune defense system possible. The choice is made predominantly by women via their highly differentiated olfactory perception system, which uses a man’s body odor to decide whether he is the right one or not. Test controls revealed that particularly sexually attractive correwponds with immune-genetically strongly varying.
In addition to these hidden criteria, there are conspicuous imposing features indicating the presence of an effective immune defense. PATRICIA GOWATY has demonstrated that the most complicated ritualistic behavior possible or particularly elaborate decorations are especially attractive in animals because they indicate high intelligence on the one hand and particularly distinctive potency on the other.
The latter is so outstanding that these machos can afford to waste enormous energies completely “unnecessarily”, just “only to make an impression on their female, their girlfriend”, despite the reduced immunobiological defense associated with the high testosterone level.
Which would finally explain scientifically why deer carry around antlers weighing tens of kilograms, why blackbirds invent the most sophisticated melodies or why quite normal men absolutely have to drive their Lamborghini to the nearby golf course and of course to the perhaps somewhat more distant “one-night stand.”
To this male elite the winner’s wreath beckons; procreative power tends toward side-leaping behavior. Quite in contrast to the socially valued caring (permanent) fatherhood, for which, on the basis of the just-mentioned studies, especially the “dear and nice” men are preferred by the woman. So it has something for everyone and anyone, even if those who sow are not necessarily those who reap.
Short-term excitement for a change
Humans, and men in particular, know another reason for the great temptation: excited love thrives on short-term stimulation and on diversity.
Studies of men with potency disorders show that “erectile failure” is “cured” by relationships with new partners. This behavior could also be explained physiologically; it is related – at least in male rats – to dopamine levels (DENNIS FIORNO).
While the amount of secretion in the midbrain areas (responsible for pleasure) rapidly declined with increasing copulation (with the same female!), male dopamine secretion abruptly spiked upon the appearance of a new partner in heat, simultaneously with a revival of the copulatory intensity that had dried up.
Women also revive mentally as well as physically through a “new spring”.
The positive experiences anchored in the body from the first subphase, the adolescent experimental phase allow in the second subphase (the socially active adult role) to fall back on it again and again, as the “salt and pepper” of a relationship bound up in family obligations and work. However, those who try to live on salt and pepper all their lives will starve to death.
Healing a partnership by being love
The third phase is about developing the qualities of being love. Failure to do so is likely to spell the end for the relationship, at least an emotionally healthy relationship.
Thesis:
The better two lovers are at finding their state of being love, the more likely they are not to grow tired of each other.
If two partners have experienced this harmony and if their cultural and social interests at least partially coincide, the best conditions are given, not only for fidelity but also for healing within the couple relationship.
Should a breakup occur, it will not be easy for either of them to find someone again with whom an equally deep and fulfilling relationship can be established.
The fact that divorce rates are so high (even at advanced ages) indicates that outer appearances remain crucial during the experimentation phase and at the time of marriage, but that partners even fail in long-term marriages to nurture and foster their being love.
